Choose Connection
External forces want us divided, but we still have the power to choose
The world feels particularly heavy right now.
And, to make matters worse, I find myself thinking about the things I can’t control more often.
When I catch myself doing this, I try to interrupt the pattern by picking up a book and reading for a bit or just sitting still in silence.
Yet, at least this past week, the noise kept winning.
Everywhere I look: conflict, tragedy, outrage, and very little dialogue.
I make it a point to look for the good. I see the future as unwritten, offering a chance for things to turn positive.
Despite the steadfast opposition to conversation and compromise intentionally thrust upon us, there still exists a possibility for unity in our lives.
I’m starting to see the need to decrease the bubble around myself. It takes work, but I need to block out the noise of the news and social media and concentrate on creating more connections with the people close to my center.
Maybe you feel that the only way to rise above the negativity of the world is by being louder than it. But when you match noise with equal or louder noise, it just creates more chaos.
The truth is, we don’t have to match the volume of the world to make a difference in it, certainly not for ourselves.
There are several different ways to do this. Right now, I am focused on choosing connection over the fear and noise.
First, in order for my human connections to grow, my digital connection needs to shrink.
Social media was supposed to expand our worlds, yet it has had the opposite effect, frequently making people feel left out or isolated. Now, more people are turning to artificial intelligence for companionship. A recent Harvard Business School study found that two of the most common uses of generative AI are for “therapy and companionship.”
Wow.
I get it. I use ChatGPT and Claude almost daily, even bouncing ideas around for these Substack pieces. But lately, it’s starting to feel like I’m in an endless feedback loop. AI is like a never-satisfied parent or nitpicky teacher: always finding something that could be better or needs to be changed.
Both social media and AI promise connection but deliver something else entirely: more noise, more dissatisfaction, more polarization, and more isolation dressed up as engagement.
The superpower that I need to activate right now is the ability to choose. When it comes to the deafening noise of the world, my power to choose what I hear and how I hear it can still give me the advantage over the noise.
Right now, I see the opposite of negativity not as positivity but as connection. If I make the choice to log into social media and consume more negativity, or I choose to seek advice and refuge from ChatGPT, I won’t be able to escape the negativity.
But, if I turn away from those options and choose to connect with other people, I won’t be pulled into the pit of negativity that is easy to fall into but also easy to avoid.
If the person or people I connect with just contribute to the negativity, I’ll move onto the next.
For me, right now, the most radical act of defiance I can make is to connect with others rather than trying to raise my voice over the noise.
A Challenge For You
Boost your human-to-human interactions this next week: call when you would normally text or message; escape the isolation of your office and do some work among others; reach out to a friend or associate you haven’t spoken to recently; and turn off the electronics at night to interact with your family.
No debates and no controversy, just connection.
PS: If you are reading this, you are either a subscriber to my Substack or it was forwarded to you by someone who is. I’m not going to post this on social media.
This one was written for me and for anyone else feeling the weight of the world right now. I am happy to share it with those who have elected to receive it directly and anyone looking for an escape from the noise.
Thank you for subscribing and for reading. I still think there is sunlight at the end of this road, and I am grateful to walk it with you.
Well said my friend. I went on a media fast over 10 years ago. It was one of the best things I have ever done. I limit my total social media exposure to less than an hour a week.
My “lived experience” is the vast majority of people I I encounter are good. We generally want freedom, kindness, opportunity, and love. Social media (and certainly traditional media) is NOT lived experience. It is headlines and algorithms, designed to capture our attention, feed dopamine, and increase cortisol.
Much love to you my brother.