Just. Keep. Going.
On Marathons, Giving, and Preparing to Lead Yourself in 2026
The past two months have been full of moments that have challenged me, uplifted me, exposed my soul, and opened my heart.
A brief recap…
I ran the Philadelphia Marathon
This was one of my goals for 2025. I have completed a lot of half marathons, but I knew in my heart why I never wanted to run a full marathon: I was afraid of the commitment necessary to prepare for the race.
I was also very stuck in my head about performance and finish time. What if I didn’t run as fast as (fill-in-the-blank person I know who has completed a marathon)? How would that look?
Back in September, I wrote about my struggles with self worth in “On Self Worth”. I spent too much time comparing myself to others. Running this marathon was another step in overcoming that.
Only a month into 2025, just as I was hitting my training stride, the universe decided to challenge me.
In true “how serious are you about your goals” fashion, I got seriously hurt while on a morning run in Nashville.
Just when I was starting to feel good while running, a rock in the middle of the road became the test I needed to overcome.
I wrote about this in June in “The Rock in the Road”.
The aftermath:
Three torn ligaments in my right ankle.
Five weeks in a walking boot.
No running at all for five months.
Six months of physical therapy. I still wear a brace on my right ankle any time I run or work out.
Five years ago I ran a 1:33 half marathon and could easily train at 7:45 minute miles. I was frustrated this summer that it was so hard for me to “feel good” while running and that nine minute miles was all I could muster.
On Labor Day, I had my registration page for the marathon up on my computer. I was telling myself the story that I couldn’t do it, that I couldn’t get myself prepared for the marathon in 11 weeks.
But that story included the preamble of what my finish time might be.
I was staring at my computer screen, ready to defer my registration to the 2026 marathon...
Then I remembered my goal was to run the Philadelphia Marathon.
Nothing about finish time.
Nothing about qualifying for Boston.
Nothing about how my time would rank against anyone else.
With this simple end goal in mind, I didn’t defer the registration and instead focused on doing what was necessary to prepare to run the Philadelphia Marathon.
I spent ten weeks training, starting from less than ten miles per week. That’s maybe half of what you would want leading up to a marathon.
On race day, I ran the entire marathon.
Still, for about a week after, I was down.
True, the post-marathon blues are a real experience.
But I was down because the athlete in me wasn’t happy with the finish time.
I had to acknowledge those thoughts, and then get rational.
I went through a lot just to get to the point where I could run 26.2 miles. That was the goal and that’s what I accomplished.
Most of all, I didn’t give up or push it off to next year; something I have done in the past.
One month later, I’m glad I didn’t quit, glad I didn’t push the goal off to next year, and I’m excited to find a different mountain to climb. It won’t include running a marathon or any kind of athletic competition, I do know that.
When you think about it, setting goals and “resolutions” specifically for January 1st is a bit arbitrary…
It wasn’t until 1752 that England and the American Colonies switched the observance of the New Year to January 1st. Prior to that it was March 25th.
A goal doesn’t have to follow a calendar year.
A goal is a challenge, not a deadline or demand.
At some point, likely early on in the year, you are going to be significantly challenged in your quest to achieve your 2026 goals.
When I work with people on goal setting, I invite them to anticipate challenges.
Even then, you can’t know every challenge that may come. Otherwise I would have been looking out for that rock in the middle of the road!
Most New Year’s goals and resolutions are abandoned by mid-February.
This is largely because most people aren’t ready for the challenges they will face.
The biggest challenge, though, is to keep going.
It doesn’t matter if you have to adjust or “move the goal posts”.
It doesn’t matter if you wind up seeing achieving the goal can’t happen by December 31, 2026.
What matters is that you don’t give up.
What matters is that you use this, above all, to learn more about yourself.
And you elevate yourself, and those in your world, as a result of having met those challenges.
I’m GRATEFUL for that rock in the road.
Sure, I could have dealt without the PAIN…
The REHAB…
The MEDICAL BILLS and dealing with the horrible medical and insurance systems in the United States.
But I know that I am much better off right now, having gone through everything I did to get to the marathon finish line, then I would have been if everything went smoothly up to that point.
Front Row Dads LIVE
A week after the marathon, I attended Front Row Dads LIVE in Austin, Texas.
150 fathers from around the world came together to learn, laugh, and play together.
Everyone in that room arrived with the intention of being a better father; of showing up for the people that matter the most in life and strengthening the most important relationships in our lives.
It’s a powerful four days that managed to be incredibly uplifting and emotionally draining at the same time.
This year I was excited to have the opportunity to speak at the event.
I took the stage for less than ten minutes to talk about the power of play.
I reminded the men present of how important it is for us to continue to play.
When we were kids, we played all of the time.
But, at some point, the world told us that we need to grow up, “act your age”, and we stopped playing.
Yet in each of us there is still the child version of ourselves. That child needs to be uplifted and healed.
But that child also wants us to PLAY.
I ended my time with a challenge for everyone to bring play into their lives, all aspects of their lives, every day.
The event was full of talks and workshops from world renowned speakers and leaders, many of which are also Front Row Dads members. My friend, and fellow FRD bandmate, Ryan Levesque had a great recap of the event in his Substack, The Digital Contrarian.
During the final session of the event several awards are presented. These awards are meant to recognize men in the community who showed up for The Brotherhood and the members in big ways throughout the year.
The “Heart of a Champion” award went to a man, Dez Loessberg, who has shown my family and I so much thoughtfulness and generosity.. When he heard my son was starring in the school musical as SpongeBob Squarepants, Dez sent him a huge Funko Pop SpongeBob figure.
Dez also knows my son loves volcanos. While his family vacationed in Hawaii, the Kilauea volcano was erupting. Dez drove his family out to view the hot magma spewing from the ground, and then took the time to call me on FaceTime so that my son could see it live from our home in New Jersey.
The “Community Builder” award went to Ray Bayat, someone who I’ve spent a lot of time with over the past year: roommates at a retreat, trail mates for an Father-Son “Rites of Passage” trip to the Grand Canyon (where our sons also got to meet and get to know each other), and road trip buddies after I picked him up at Newark Airport to drive to and from and event in the Catskills.
Ray is a shining example of a “family man with a business, not a businessman with a family.” Ray has enjoyed tremendous success in business, but everything is done with the intention of family first.
The final award was the “Big Giver” award for the person seen to give the most to The Brotherhood over the past year. It is named in honor of John Rhulin, the best selling author of Giftology, and a man whose entire life was about giving and teaching others the value of giving.
Tragically, John passed away in 2024. This award is a lasting honor to the man John was and the legacy he created.
The award was presented via video that was recorded, edited, and produced by award winning filmmaker Jefe Greenhart.
About one minute into the video, Front Row Dads Founder Jon Vroman revealed that I was the recipient of the award this year.
The video had tributes from several men who I have become very close with.
Jefe even included a clip made by my wife and our children.
It was an incredible and moving tribute.
When the video ended, the men in the room stood to applaud.
I was overcome with emotion and initially stayed glued to my seat in the back of the room. No doubt sensing my reluctance, my friend Ali Jafarian immediately walked up behind me, leaned in, and said, “You need to go up there (to the stage)”.
I honestly don’t see what I do in the community as “giving” as much as it is “giving back”. In fact, I’ve received so much from the community, I don’t think it is possible for me, or anyone, to give back an equal amount.
Unlike many other times in my life, I don’t feel like giving back to Front Row Dads is expected. I’ve been in those situations, and wound up walking away feeling under appreciated.
Other than meeting and marrying my wife and our children being born, receiving this award was among the best moments of my life. Almost a month later, I’ve had plenty of time to reflect on it. The thing I keep coming back to is that I don’t get to this point without having done a considerable amount of work on myself.
Before you can effectively lead others, you have to be able to lead yourself.
Before you can lead yourself, you really have to know yourself.
This fall, my wife and I have been regularly attending Meeting for Worship at our local Quaker Meetinghouse. Our kids have been attending Quaker schools for a few years now, and we have been intentionally learning about Quakerism and drawn to become Quakers ourselves.
Meeting for Worship is a weekly pause where I can listen closely to my inner voice and continue to understand who I am.
It has become another community that I love being a part of, and one in which I am eager to give back.
2026 could be a lot of things for my family and I…
We will celebrate the 250th anniversary of the founding of our country right across the river, where it happened in Philadelphia.
We plan to travel: some solo, some as a family, some as a couple, and some solo parent-child trips.
We get to experience the World Cup and MLB All Star Game in Philadelphia…
And we plan to explore all of these things and most aspects of our lives in reflection of the Quaker testimonies (known as S.P.I.C.E.S.): Simplicity, Peace, Integrity, Community, Equality, and Stewardship.
I wish you great health and abundant happiness in 2026.
It won’t be smooth sailing. In fact, I hope it isn’t because that is how we grow the most.
You will be challenged in ways you never expected.
Stay focused and take breaks when necessary.
Practice gratitude every day, and tell the people who mean the most to you that you love them.
And Just. Keep. Going.
Thanks for being a humble leader Matt. You deserve the accolades and it’s been a privilege to witness your journey. Happy new year.
Beautiful post! Such a deserved award. You really typify a FRD and a Go Giver. So many great lessons here (I can relate to your post-marathon not quite what you wanted with my Killi climb decision). Here's to another great year!